THE PROBLEM WITH HOLDING IT ....

AT ANY GIVEN
IT CAN JUST DISAPPEAR
AT ANY GIVEN
IT CAN JUST GO AWAY
THATS WHY I TRY NOT TO HOLD THINGS
I TRY ... THATS THE PROBLEM .. I TRY
ITS HARD TO NOT HOLD THINGS
WHEN YOUR AFFECTED BY SO MUCH EMOTIONALLY
I HAVE LOST SO MUCH
I HAVE THOUGHT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER, BECAUSE ....
AT THAT MOMENT WITH LOSS ... MOSTLY WILL COME SOME GAIN ..
BUT THE GAIN WOULD ONLY BE PART-TIME
THEREFORE, AGAIN .... I'M HOLDING IT
I'M HOLDING THE PAIN
I'M HOLDING THE TEARS
I'M HOLDING THE HURT
I'M HOLDING THE HEART BREAK
THEN I LOSE SOMETHING ....
THIS TIME IT'S SOMETHING CLOSER THAN BEFORE
THE ONLY THING NEXT TO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I HAVE
WHERE LOVE WAS UNCONDITIONAL
(DEEP BREATH)... YEAH I LOST IT AGAIN
NOW HERE IT ALL COMES
THE RUSH OF EMOTIONS
SO I'M HOLDING IT
BUT DEEP INSIDE, I DONT WANNA HOLD IT
I TRY NOT TO HOLD IT
BUT THERE IT GOES AGAIN, THAT TRYING SIDE OF ME ....
WHY DO I DO THIS ???
WHY DO I SET MYSELF UP FOR MORE HEART-ACHES THEN NECESSARY ...
YES THAN NECESSARY
THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN .. I'M HOLDING IT
I'M HOLDING THAT ANGUISH
THAT MAKES ME DESPISE PEOPLE
THAT MAKES ME INTENTIONALLY HURT WITH MY WORDS
BECAUSE I AM SO BUSY TRYING TO HOLD IT
THAT I DONT REALIZE ...
EMOTIONS WILL TRIGGER IT
AND WHEN IT'S TRIGGERED, IT MAY COME OUT WRONG
SO WHAT DO I DO ???
WHAT DO I SAY ???
HOW DO I REACT WHEN YOU BURN ME ???
BURN ME HUH ???
YES BURN ME ...
YOU BURN ME WITH YOUR WORDS
YOU BURN ME WITH YOUR ACTIONS
YOU BURN ME WITH YOUR SENSELESS ACTS
BUT YET ...
I'M DRAWN TOO IT
I'M DRAWN TOO YOU
I'M DRAWN TOO YOUR AURA
BUT IS THAT RIGHT ???
HOW COULD I BE DRAWN TO SOMETHING ...
SOMETHING THAT DOESNT REFLECT ???
REFLECT ???
YES (SMH, I DO MEAN REFLECT)
REFLECT THE SAME THINGS I DO
THATS EASY ..
THE WORLD IS NOT PERFECT
NOTHING ABOUT IT AT ALL
EITHER I KEEP TRYING
OR .. (SCRATCHES MY HEAD)
OR I FIX IT ...
DAMN .....
I WISH IT WAS THAT EASY
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ???
FIXING WILL BE MY FOCUS
I MEAN,
THEY DO SAY "TO TRY IS TO FAIL"
SO TO FIX ...
MAY BE YOUR ONLY OPTION .......