The Backside

"Sometimes I feel like leaving you,
 but when I think about what we been through, yeah,
 I get a feeling like it could be worse.
Cause I've given you my best, and I don't mind, its fine" Mary J. Blige- Hood Love

Listening to this song and seeing the video, I think majority of relationships have this concept. Our man, spouse, husband,  even wife/girlfriend not calling, picking up their phone, not coming home at a decent hour. Constantly worrying if their okay, what could have happened? And then the cycle begins, and continues over and over again. Years go by, pain,resentment, insecurities, secrets buried, the compatibility factor that because were so use to this behavior, its just normal for us. We don't say a thing, but yet our hearts hurt, we complain to our girlfriends about them not being this nor that, but ask yourself, what have you contributed that they haven't? Love, Loyalty, Honesty...but have you? We fail to recognize the truth, or even deal with it, because the saying is the truth hurts. Can you say that you have really tried, and no not that try that we think is working for US, but for WE. How can we as individuals expect so much from one person, but in return were not putting up half the effort. I hear stories about this person not having a great job, or this person is still living at home, or they haven't finished school, or have X amount of kids, or this or that....But where do you stand? Being a woman, I found that I complained about the man's cheating, but that was his only fault, he brought forth more than I gave back. Crazy was he constantly pushed me to be more than I thought I had in me, but he never gave up on me.

You think about leaving, time and time again?  Thinking its them, not you, of course not you, because you can't obviously do anything wrong? Right!!! So, maybe you did leave, possibly try to move on, went on some dates, and all you come to think about is him/her? Comparing your mate with that person, they don't make you smile like they do, they don't have that swag that's at a million, just being with them is plain "Jane." Can you think about the time when you needed him/her, and at every chance they were always there, made your rainy day see the rainbow, brought life back into you when you thought  things were just hopeless, your best friend is just that. I've come to realize that you must be your mate's friend first, laugh and be silly about all the things that you are comfortable doing with your friends. NO don't divulge every single detail of your sexual escapades, or old boo's but do share your experiences into making it your own. We fail to see that what you thought you have been missing has been in front of you all this time. Relationships are not suppose to be as easy as we want or would like them to be. There hard work, time consuming, heart breaking, but if that's what you want, if you can see yourself growing more and more with this person, then they are fulfilling, they are the piece to that puzzle that might be the missing factor. Love is such a complicated subject, so many emotions, but its the simplest thing when you have communication, a support system, honesty, respect for one another, and friendship. Love for life, for that person that compliments you, not completes, because before anything make sure you love yourself first!!!!

"Now I play tough but not for too long,
You are someone I depend on,
No matter how I act at times, I could never walk away
I thought about it plenty of times, but no one could take your place" Trey Songz

Thank You Ma

Cornerstones of society, able to pull strength from the deepest of reserves. Molding, guiding us to greatness, they say behind every great man is a great woman, I challenge the notion that this just refers to a mate....this should apply to mothers as well. Many of us have grew up in single parent homes, watching our moms break their backs to provide, extra hours worked for birthdays and christmas. Never going without, them never letting the stress of parenting show, allowing us to smile and enjoy the fruits of their labor. This is a day of celebration, a day to let all the mothers out there know that they are appreciated, that they are idolized and adored. It shouldn't take one day to realize this, as we should acknowledge everyday, let this be the turning point in showing our mothers love, for they showered us with it everyday. So let's do the same.

Question of The Day: ASGD/GP

We all know sex sells, and looking at twitter and every social network, more and more folks are not ashamed to discuss it.
So everyday I will be posting a sex question of the day for my curosity and those of my readers, leave comments.

QOTD: Do you currently have a #ASGD or #ASGP( for those that don't know what this means Ain't S***, Good D***, Ain't S***, Good P****), and if so, what are the benefits? And the not so beneficial part about this situation?

Fashion Friday

Some of the Summer picks for 2010:

Ruffles: from shirts with a denim jean, to a firery dress for a night on the town, or a bright jumper(which are my favs)

Wild: For the safari look, with accessories to make a bold look into a hot topic, or a safari top with white jeans

Statement Shoes: From a classy black pump to a out of the world sandal, your shoes must always outway the outfit, this is a must with everything, from a pair of jeans, to that nice fitting dress, the shoe is the way:

Bright Bag: I love bright colors, just something about it them that makes you say "I like what she has on" You can mix and match, with hot pink with electric blue of bright yellow, or if your not into bold colors, classic black or white to make it look new, this is my newest bag to my collection:

Bare Shoulders: We all have sexy shoulders, something about the revealing of a slight part is just Sexy, make the mind wonder:

I recently began watching Kimora in the Fab Lane, and have to say I was never a fan of her clothing, but to see these are some of the items from her latest collection, and I love them, for more information on this clothing line visit: http://www.babyphat.com/

For the Luv of Louboutin

From a sexy slingback to an ankle boot, this man has taste. Save up to 70% and no sales tax,now we all love a shoe with a sale price. Go online, get your mom a cute flat sandal, or your lady a shoe to die for:

http://www.christianllouboutinus.com/

THE PROBLEM WITH HOLDING IT ....

AT ANY GIVEN
IT CAN JUST DISAPPEAR
AT ANY GIVEN
IT CAN JUST GO AWAY
THATS WHY I TRY NOT TO HOLD THINGS
I TRY ... THATS THE PROBLEM .. I TRY
ITS HARD TO NOT HOLD THINGS
WHEN YOUR AFFECTED BY SO MUCH EMOTIONALLY
I HAVE LOST SO MUCH
I HAVE THOUGHT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER, BECAUSE ....
AT THAT MOMENT WITH LOSS ... MOSTLY WILL COME SOME GAIN ..
BUT THE GAIN WOULD ONLY BE PART-TIME
THEREFORE, AGAIN .... I'M HOLDING IT
I'M HOLDING THE PAIN
I'M HOLDING THE TEARS
I'M HOLDING THE HURT
I'M HOLDING THE HEART BREAK
THEN I LOSE SOMETHING ....
THIS TIME IT'S SOMETHING CLOSER THAN BEFORE
THE ONLY THING NEXT TO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I HAVE
WHERE LOVE WAS UNCONDITIONAL
(DEEP BREATH)... YEAH I LOST IT AGAIN
NOW HERE IT ALL COMES
THE RUSH OF EMOTIONS
SO I'M HOLDING IT
BUT DEEP INSIDE, I DONT WANNA HOLD IT
I TRY NOT TO HOLD IT
BUT THERE IT GOES AGAIN, THAT TRYING SIDE OF ME ....
WHY DO I DO THIS ???
WHY DO I SET MYSELF UP FOR MORE HEART-ACHES THEN NECESSARY ...
YES THAN NECESSARY
THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN .. I'M HOLDING IT
I'M HOLDING THAT ANGUISH
THAT MAKES ME DESPISE PEOPLE
THAT MAKES ME INTENTIONALLY HURT WITH MY WORDS
BECAUSE I AM SO BUSY TRYING TO HOLD IT
THAT I DONT REALIZE ...
EMOTIONS WILL TRIGGER IT
AND WHEN IT'S TRIGGERED, IT MAY COME OUT WRONG
SO WHAT DO I DO ???
WHAT DO I SAY ???
HOW DO I REACT WHEN YOU BURN ME ???
BURN ME HUH ???
YES BURN ME ...
YOU BURN ME WITH YOUR WORDS
YOU BURN ME WITH YOUR ACTIONS
YOU BURN ME WITH YOUR SENSELESS ACTS
BUT YET ...
I'M DRAWN TOO IT
I'M DRAWN TOO YOU
I'M DRAWN TOO YOUR AURA
BUT IS THAT RIGHT ???
HOW COULD I BE DRAWN TO SOMETHING ...
SOMETHING THAT DOESNT REFLECT ???
REFLECT ???
YES (SMH, I DO MEAN REFLECT)
REFLECT THE SAME THINGS I DO
THATS EASY ..
THE WORLD IS NOT PERFECT
NOTHING ABOUT IT AT ALL
EITHER I KEEP TRYING
OR .. (SCRATCHES MY HEAD)
OR I FIX IT ...
DAMN .....
I WISH IT WAS THAT EASY
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ???
FIXING WILL BE MY FOCUS
I MEAN,
THEY DO SAY "TO TRY IS TO FAIL"
SO TO FIX ...
MAY BE YOUR ONLY OPTION .......

The Rinse Cycle

From a seed in the womb, once we were thought of, once we were created we have been embedded with DNA from our parents, a part that is in us forever. We talk like them, think as they think, walk that walk, act like them. So is this a good or bad thing? Our actions speak louder than our words. We commit ourselves to society, fall into the whirlpool of what we were taught, what we have seen, what we've allowed. You wonder how and why you just make that choice? That decision. Still continue on with the thought knowing that's not what's right or for you, but yet the urge is so strong. This is what you think is best, what you think you know, because we all think one time or another that we know more than the next. These choices that we thought were for us, that we knew better, turned our worlds upside down. Or so we thought. Have you come to that place that you felt you failed? That nothing was working in your favor? As good as a person you thought you were, always gave, always had a smile, always the kindness, always...always.... always...

We try to fill a void, somethings missing, but we don't know what it is. Try to figure it out but keep on with the cycle. Keep on bumping into that wall, burning up with fire that we keep putting ourselves through. We're not happy nor content, but we just keep doing it, just keep settling. Do you wonder why? Your following footsteps, and it may not be your fault, its just all you seem to know. All you have seen, all you've heard, all you've been taught. Sleepless nights of all the pain, the hurt, and confusion. We want to complain about what's not right, why us, we didnt' deserve this and that, but yet what are we doing to change this cycle? To change how each one thinks, to make it better than what you grew up to. I believe that we all have a story, things happen because they were suppose to, that's our test. Why keep living with all the bad choices, with the insanity of running around in the same circle over and over again. Take what you've learned, the joy, the pain, the sorrow, the goodness, every emotion that has made you mad, made you sad, angry, and embrace it. Grow from these things that build character, this is what makes your skin so strong, your vision so much clearer, your voice being heard over a crowd, this makes you a warrior. Things are always going to happen, some we weren't prepared for, things that may not seem fair, but this is what life is about, to conquer the weaker being, to make it your own. This is your destiny